Cranberry Sin describes himself as an itch you can't scratch. "At least not publicly!" He is a guerilla for dignity and likes to combine lovesickness with depraved populist energy to make you want to solve humanity's dirty puzzle on your own.
I’m confused at what I’m looking at
Something happened
I don’t know what specifically
No one clearly appears to be at blame
Was it a crusade?
A mission to save lives?
Or bring vengeance?
None of that makes sense
I can see a little figure intended to look dead
While other mechanical figures give white shrouds to foreigners
Their backs turned to their city
Were they gathered from buried ancestors?
And were they given to those who would celebrate
With a bottle of sherry
The murder of those who were buried?
And if I listen closely
I can hear what sounds like clicks from the bisht of the dead man
It might just be my own heart beating though
Is there something that can help me understand?
In the previous room a video plays Forbes 30 Under 30
And you can listen to a man describe the path he took to the Janiculum Hill
To drink cheap Lambrusco wine
While overlooking Rome at sunset
A magic carpet guided him to such a serene experience
This carpet is the exiled relative of the magic carpet purchased by Prince Husain
Learn more about this in the One Thousand and One Nights exhibit
Found at this museum’s competitor
But this museum makes more money than that museum!
For example, this museum presents a depiction of al-Ghazali’s slave market interpretation of the Houris
There are seventy-two actual sex slaves here
They have the honor of being voluntold
To participate in such a historic exhibit
Thanks to the generous donation of the Epstein Victims’ Compensation Program
Museum goers don’t have to grow bored looking at seventy-two white raisins
Such an exhibit can be found at the Museum of Light
And it’s based on Christoph Luxenberg’s interpretation of the Houris
One can even buy a box of simple raisins in their giftshop!
And there are seventy-two in each box
I turn my head slightly from the Act of Betrayal To One’s Ancestors diorama
And settle on the diorama next to it called Gold Mine With An Unwelcome Guest
I pick up a plastic imitation of a glass root beer bottle and put it into a slot per museum design
And I watch the interactive Rube Golberg diorama activate
A mechanized man takes a swig of a little bottle
He drops the bottle
And then he advances towards an elevator and descends
When he steps off the elevator into the mine
He is given a cart from another mechanized man
Inside the cart is a firefly and a time-worn bisht
The man reenters the elevator
And with a crackling voice seemingly recorded by Edouard-Leon Scott de Martinville himself
You can hear the mechanical man say, “A bisht!? But I want gold!”
He descends
He gets off the elevator
Finds the gold he was looking for
And he puts it in his cart
But a large and very real spider bites the mechanical man
Causing the mechanical figure to “die” with a visible collapse into the cart,
Which is sent back to the elevator
And after it ascends
A new mechanical man emerges by means of a mechanical hand so subtle
You would think it was veiled in scrim
The cart falls sideways after crashing at the end of its track and its contents spill
Then the mechanical hand removes the cart from the scene
And then brings a new little bisht and firefly to the cart within the mine
In simultaneity with the cart removal, a sign lights up
“Take the little bisht home as a souvenir and also feed our actor with the insect.”
With an arrow pointing to where the cart used to be and the firefly and little bisht remain,
I notice a second sign by a little door at the exterior of the diorama near the lower level of the mine
It reads, “Open the door and feed our actor.”
I pick up the firefly and enclose it in my palm
I move towards the door but hesitate
I step back
I can hear the Forbes video in the background
I wait until someone else enters the exhibit
They put the plastic bottle in the slot
The diorama comes alive
Well, some parts of it are already alive
Another firefly and bisht in the cart
Another mechanical man “dies” from the spider
I watch as a person takes in their palm a firefly and bisht
Just like I did
I watch them find the second sign
And that person hesitates in front of the little door
Only, this time, the door is opened
The spider immediately bites the person
And then grabs the firefly
Museum staff quickly respond to the screaming that follows
The spider closes the door
I return to the diorama and see a new sign has lit up
“Pathetic.”
At the Museum of Light
They have a similar diorama
Or so I’ve heard
Its set in the future though
You can turn a living spider into a strangely colored glass bottle
In the diorama a mechanical woman pockets money
And then she uses a 3D printer to fashion spider parts with glass into bottles
She then travels to the past using a little chamber intended to be a time machine
It moves horizontally and the scene changes through the aid of mechanical hands
She sells her bottles to a vendor who hands her money
She goes back to the future so to speak with money in hand
The series of events end
A light turns on and a sign is illuminated
It reads, “Turn an evil spider into a glass jar and then pour yourself some root beer.”
All in all, it sounds stupid and lazy
Why can’t I stop the industry that turns spiders into bottles?
That’s gross!
I have never been to the Museum of Light
I have no time for their hypocrisy and scapegoats
I am here at the Museum of Darkness
And before I leave,
I will watch a few more rounds of the dioramas at work
I found that there is a mechanical hand in the first diorama that actually strips the dead figure
And provides a new bisht to dress him with for the next museumgoer
And there is a tiny sign that lights up in the first diorama
But only when the second diorama’s signs are also lit
“You have achieved victory at the expense of another. Congrats, you are a merciless taskmaster.”
I left the little bisht right on that sign
And I let that firefly free outside upon leaving the museum